PARENTS – Where Are Your Teens?

A few Friday nights ago, in a suburb of the Gold Coast there was going to be a party.

It was all organised.

140 plus people were invited.

The invitations were sent out in a private group on Facebook.

The invitees were in the age range of 14-16.

It was advertised as being BYO alcohol and drugs.

I guess you are probably wondering where this party was going to be held?

Was it going to be at someone’s house with responsible adult supervision?

Was it going to be held in a local park?

No….it was going to be held in a vacant house that did not belong to ANYONE who was attending the party.

This house was vacant pending it’s sale – just a few short days away.

One of the ‘alledged’ party organiser’s knew this house was vacant.

How did they know this you ask?

They knew this because they had previously resided in this house with their family as tenants.

I did mention that this person is in the age range of 14 to 16 didn’t I?

I cannot for the life of me work out the thought processes this child went through to arrive at the conclusion that this was a good idea?

I can not even begin to imagine what may have occurred had the home owners not been notified that this was happening.

We’ve all seen the stories in the media about what happens when big parties get out of control.

Police attending to out of control teen parties is becoming all to common place.

Police attending to out of control teen parties is becoming all to common place.

The Police hardly wanted to know about the situation so it was up to the home owner and a group of neighbours to turn away the would-be party goers.

The absolutely foul language and abuse that these people copped is beyond belief.

There were parents turning up to drop off their kids at this party who had no idea what type of party it was.

One mother turned up to collect her daughter who had phoned to say that everyone had left her and she wanted to come home. This woman had no idea where her daughter was.

Surely, as parents it is our duty to know where our children are at all times?

Surely we have not become this complacent as a society that we would just drop kids off at a party that we knew nothing about. My kids might think I’m overly-cautious, but after this experience I think they can see why.  They are in the 14-16 age range and could not believe what had happened.

So to all the parents out there who are raising teens how about you step up to the plate and check where your kids are and where they are going and who they are going with.  And how about the drugs and alcohol?  Someone must be getting it for them, giving it to them or giving them the money for it?

Everyone complains about the behaviour of the current generation but no body seems to be prepared to take a stand and put a stop to it.  Our kids have rules and boundaries and know full well the consequences if they do the wrong thing.

By now you may have guessed that the house I speak of was our house.  I think we had a lucky escape due only to one mother’s honesty and integrity.

If you think it doesn’t happen I’m here to tell you it does….in another Gold Coast suburb just a few short days after this incident a wild teen party resulted in a house being trashed.  You can read that story HERE.

 

Love Me

 

A Proud Mum

 

Right from the startYou were a thiefYouMiss M turned 16 this week.  I can’t help wondering if she will ever fully understand how much we love her or how proud we are of her until she has children of her own.  Then I hope, she will look back on her childhood years and know that she was loved and cherished beyond measure.

Following several years of treatment for endometriosis, it was always going to be a waiting game to see if I could actually fall pregnant.  I had been told several times that it would be difficult.  But as it turned out, I fell quite easily and knew very quickly that I was pregnant.  I felt the first twinges of morning sickness when I was no more than 2 weeks along.  By the 6 week mark the toilet bowel was my new BFF!

Fortunately this passed after about 26 weeks and Miss M arrived via an emergency C-section a healthy 8lb 20z.  She was a little bit overdue and had managed to get wrapped up in her cord so she was a bit red and wrinkly but I fell instantly in love.  I still remember Mr B leaning over my bed in recovery and saying, ‘Hey Mum, you’ve got a little girl’ (I had a general anesthetic by choice)

Right from the start Miss M captivated everyone with her cheeky personality.  She was never really a shy child (still isn’t) and was happy to go to her Nan and Pop, aunts and uncles for cuddles.  She walked early, at 9 months, and there was no holding her back after that.  As a baby she loved playing in the kitchen cupboards – pulling out the saucepans and plastic bowls was a favourite game.

Her baby brother arrived when she was 20 months old and even at that young age the delight on her face when she first saw him was evident.  They are still very close now, even though they sometimes fight as siblings do.

Starting school shortly before her 5th birthday showed that she had a keen mind and she was quick to learn.  She loved to read and in fact could recite a favourite book off by heart when she was 3.

She has continued to do well at school and now at the age of 16 she is focused on completing her high school education with a career in the Defence Forces just one of the things on her list.

She continues to make wise choices when it comes to the temptation of parties, alcohol and drug use and I am so grateful for that.  We are lucky that we have a close and loving relationship and that she knows that she can talk to me about anything and ask both of us anything.  Life for our teens now is so different to my life as a teen that I cannot help but sometimes be shocked by what she says other teens are doing, but I’m glad she shares these things with me.

Miss M is 16 and we couldn't be prouder!

Miss M is 16 and we couldn’t be prouder!

She has a small, but close circle of friends and gets on well with many others in her peer group.

She is serious and responsible.  She is fun and funny.  She is a girly girl and a tom boy all rolled into one.  She can fix ‘stuff’ in the shed with her Dad and get her hands dirty and then paint her nails, put on a dress and go out for dinner.  She is lazy around the house but works so hard at school and her part time job.

As she moves rapidly towards the time when she becomes independent of us I am making the most of every minute I get to spend with her – even those where she is behind the steering wheel of our car and I am in the passenger seat!

Love Me

 

Why I Threw Out My School Reports

I graduated high school in 1983!  Even though Maths was not my strong suit I can tell you that was over 31 years ago.  So why, up until last year, was I still carting around my school reports?  Yep, I had every single one from Year 2 (when I officially started school), through to Year 12.

Now I was no scholar at school and my poor old report cards pretty much reflected that.  The only thing I was ever any good at was English (who would of thought)  Being more or less an only child and quite isolated as well, talking in class was a problem for me and this was reflected in every single report card I ever received.  The other thing nearly all my teachers said was that if I tried, I could do better.  If only they knew how hard I tried but subjects like science and maths just never came easily to me.

My report cards were never much good.

My report cards were never much good. {IMAGE CREDIT}

I sometimes wonder what those teachers would think of me now if they knew how my life had turned out.  I’m proud of my career in law enforcement and that I was able to make a difference.  I also ran an aged care service when the kids were little and I’m especially proud of the difference I made to lot of older peoples lives.

We are lucky I guess that learning has always come fairly easily to both our kids and that they have always been able to achieve good results at school, but what has always been more important to us than their grades is the comments and the way they were graded on effort and behaviour.  We have always told both of them that if they were getting an A for effort and behaviour but getting a C as a grade, we didn’t care because we knew that they were trying.

So, one afternoon towards the end of last year, I pulled out the folder that held all my reports and my School Certificate and Higher School Certificate and shredded the lot.  I had never once been asked for them in all my working life and lets face it they are really only what maybe half a dozen people thought of you at a particular time in your life.  They may just have been a reflection of the fact that you got stressed when sitting for an exam and therefore didn’t do well.  So, I could no longer see the point of holding on to them.  I have to say if felt great to get rid of them too.  A step in the right direction of de-cluttering and simplifying my life.

The only thing I kept was the back page of my primary school reports which had an extract of the following poem printed on it.  I never knew who wrote it or that only part of it was printed until I searched for it on Google.  I have included it here as I think it still contains a valuable message and one we should probably all take note of.

 

Children Learn What They Live

By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

Love Me